Labor?

My head is spinning right now, and I can't sleep.  I'm pretty sure this is happening.  Contractions started about 9:30 last night but were, and are, still very, very mild but they keep coming.  I went to bed at about 11 and woke up feeling them at 1:30am.  This doesn't seem like good timing.  Jonny has three more days before break, the Honda broke down in Marion at 9:30 last night on his way home from YL (AFTER we already made it home in the van), my mom wasn't planning to come until the 27th, I hate calling people in the middle of the night, my phone isn't even working completely right, the house isn't as clean as I'd like it to be, Jonny is totally out of it and not speaking in normal human sentences, Siah does not do well away from me, Noah only poops (he's a morning pooper) for one other person besides us and I'm not sure if she can watch him, of the two midwives who are supposed to deliver Baby- one of them unexpectedly left town for a week, I don't think Jonny is prepared for last minute plans for a sub, I don't want to wake my mom yet, Becky isn't here, I've never done a home birth before and am a little nervous, I always sit on a birthing ball for the last really hard part but our exercise ball is flat and missing its clip.... ahhh

I so badly want everything to fall perfectly into place.  If this is anything like the timing of the last two, who were born about 9 hours after the mild contractions started, he should be born around 6 or 7am.  If that is the case, that might actually be perfect because the boys all went to bed very late last night and probably won't wake up until about 8am.  However, that means things are going to need to drastically speed up in the next few hours and that doesn't seem likely.  Is this even real labor?  Ahh!!!!

I need You, Jesus.

Moving right along

Our baby has now made it to the end of his 27th gestational week!  That means his chances of survival, if he were born prematurely, are much greater.  I love getting past this point.  Its so exciting to think we're getting so much closer to meeting this new little gift.  
Here's what went on with Baby #4 this last week:


This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds and is about 14 1/2 inches long with his legs extended. He's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing his eyes, and perhaps even sucking his fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While his lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if he were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle.

I haven't felt any hiccups yet, but there sure is a lot of moving around in there!  :)

A fourth son

A friend let me borrow her book Bringing Up Boys a few months ago, but I have yet to start it.  There are a few other things I'm wanting to finish first.  BUT it is definitely next on my list!  Boys Boys, Boys... oh and one more BOY!!  I've had all sorts of mixed emotions since finding out that our fourth baby will be another boy, but in the last week especially, I've been getting really excited to meet this little guy.  

Today made me extra excited.  There are three families (that I know of) in our church that have four boys in a row.  One of these moms I've just got to know a bit in the last year.  She came up to me today to congratulate me.  She gave me a big hug and spoke wonderfully encouraging words.  Later, I spoke with her husband who was walking with their fourth adorable eight year old boy.  Then after service, during the baptisms I heard that their fourth son was getting baptized.  The five of us joined the crowd around the baptismal and I was in tears.  It was absolutely precious!  I'm so thankful God allowed me to witness that sweet moment in their family.  What an inspiration!  Lord willing, that could be us years down the road.  We have a very busy, joyful, crazy, wonderful, loud and delightful road ahead of us with four boys.  

I'm already praying for you little boy!  I'm praying that you will come to know and love our Savior and live your life for Him.  I'm praying that I will get to watch you be baptized some day. I can't wait to meet you, hold you in my arms and kiss your sweet face.  

Yay!  Now what will he look like!?  What will we name him!?  What kind of personality will this one have!?  How exciting!!  Just four more months and maybe a week or two! (hopefully not three)

Oh BOY!

That's right!  Baby #4 is a BOY!!!  It was pretty obvious to the doctor.  I think he found it within 30 seconds of starting.  Jonny mentioned how we've been wanting a girl, and right as I interrupted with "But a boy would be just as wonderful!"  The doctor said, "Well, I'm glad you said that because if I saw what I think just flashed by, your baby is a boy!"  Jonny and I both started laughing.  

It's been such a shocking day.  How crazy that God would give us FOUR boys in a row!!  I wonder what He has planned for our family?  I wonder why He chose Jonny and I to raise up FOUR boys?  I keep capitalizing because I'm just so amazed.  I am thankful for God's sovereignty and that He is the one in charge.  This didn't happen by chance- because the little Y chromosome swimmer was the best swimmer and made it to the egg first.  (Even though Jonny was joking that something was wrong with his X chromosome production!)  God has had this planned from the very beginning.  He has a plan for this little life, so even though it is our FOURTH boy I will rejoice just like I did with my first.  I will rejoice because my healthy little boy is being fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator! (Ps. 139:14)

Plus, doesn't He seem to make super cute little Oelkers boys!?  I think so  :)

Own unique fingerprint at 13 weeks!

Even though I've done this whole pregnant thing three times before, it still amazes me to read about the baby's miraculous development inside my womb.  This is what has been happening for the last week (13 week old fetus)...

Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long  and weighs nearly an ounce.

I am so thankful and overwhelmed that God is allowing me to experience this miracle again, blessing me with yet another sweet newborn to hold on my chest, and entrusting me with another child to raise.  May He give me the strength and wisdom to do it all to His glory! 

Yep, its true! We are having ANOTHER baby!

Here we go again!  If you haven't heard by now, I'm 3mos pregnant and due with #4 on New Year's Eve!  It was pretty shocking news for me, as I was wanting to have a bigger gap between #3 & #4.  I am also a little nervous about how everything will work out with four little ones.  I'm praying for supernatural mommy abilities so I can do a really, really good job.  I am so thankful and appreciative of the positive and encouraging responses to our news.  Two emails in particular blessed me greatly-- I want to share them below this next picture:

 I had an ultrasound today.  Even though I asked for a "between the legs shot", its a little too early to tell.  For those of you familiar with ultrasound pics you can see the legs and those two white lines almost in an arrow shape in the middle.  We looked at google images to see if it resembled other boy or girl ultrasound pictures, and they all look really similar at this stage.  I will say though, that I'm thinking it may be a boy after seeing how active this little one was!  Showing off for the camera just like the first three!!  There is one big difference this time around- its how much better I feel.  Even though I am nauseated often, its not constant and I haven't been nearly as physically sick as I was with the first three.

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Hi Jessica!

Congratulations! I think that is awesome! I know how overwhelming it is to have so many little ones. Sometimes it feels like you can hardly keep your head above the water...but Christ sustains you and carries you and provides everything you need for this season!

 Looking back, those were beautiful days...when all the little ones were all around me all the time. It's so hard to see it now...but you will look back, too, when the three boys you have are men. And they live giving their hearts, souls, minds, and strength to the One who gave all for them. It's so hard to watch them now carrying their crosses...whatever that may look like on a particular day. Sometimes it's homesickness when they know they are where God wants them, but they miss family. Sometimes it's trial in ministry, a broken heart from a person's harsh criticism, discouragement, watching them be overwhelmed in what God has given them to do and having to seek His comfort, encouragement, hope and promises. Whatever they are enduring as men of God, we as mothers remember those precious times when our kisses and hugs made everything better. When we got to tuck them under their covers and know that they were safe from any distress or concern.

 Love this time, Jess...even with all its crazy demands, chaos, exhaustion. Trust that God has established spacing and order of the children exactly how He desires it to be, and that anything that must be endured because of it is ordained by God to establish Godly character and ruin fleshly habits. Don't grow weary in doing good....lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us...

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Hi Jess!
I just wanted to say again, happy mommy-hood!  It would seem God has decided to give you more than you've ever thought you'd be able to contain in terms of joy.  Yes, with that, some hard work, but there is nothing more wonderful than the gift of life, and He is so blessing you!  Think what your life will be when you are your moms age, or your grandmas, with lots of little grands and greats around you at your 80th!

Wow.  You are so blessed.  :-)

I pray that God will allow you to see just how much He is showering you with favor and that you will enjoy Him forever.

Waiting for Baby

Okay, I think I'm ready now. I'm a little scared of the labor part, but I'm ready to hold my baby. I've got everything on my list checked off. Picked a name- check. (But no middle name yet.) Clean house- check. Eli done with swim lessons- check. Mommy shower- check. Packed hospital bag -check. Camera batteries charged- check. Baby clothes & diapers in dresser- check. Pedicure- check. Becky here- oh wait, not till next Thursday! :)

Eli and Noah were both born three days after that 'ovulation calculated due date'. If that's the case with this little guy, then we will be waiting until the 17th! My guess is that he will be earlier than that. I'm having all kinds of random contractions- something I never experienced with the first two. It's pretty annoying, to be honest. Last night I was awake timing contractions for a couple hours just to have them suddenly stop. It seems like I get them every evening lately, but according to a few friends of mine, this could last for weeks. Sigh...

Today was the last day I had plans, and was preferring not to have the baby. We had some friends over for a little Cinco de Mayo play date and lunch, and then this evening another friend joined me for a pedicure. (Gotta have those feet lookin' pretty for labor!) Next on my agenda- meet my newest son!

My appointments

I had an ultrasound appointment yesterday to check Baby's growth since I was measuring small, and today I got the results- everything is fine. It looks like we'll be having another healthy boy! I still measured small today- 35 1/2 instead of 38. It's possible he'll still be 8lbs if I go my due date, but for now he's smaller than that. She said his femurs measured small, so he may not be very long. I guess we'll just have to wait and see! I can't wait to see what this one looks like!!! Here is a 3D pic they printed out for me. From the picture, I think he looks like baby Eli and sleeps like baby Noah, with his hands up by his face. (You can also see his feet smashed up by his face too!) I'm sure looking forward to cuddling this sweet little piece of heaven!

Phew!

Okay, I was right. It wasn't the real thing. That gave me a little scare, though. I think they stopped around 2am because I fell asleep and woke up hours later realizing nothing had happened and I had been sleeping for quite some time. That was strange... Maybe I should stop with this silly nonsense of cleaning things like the toaster and fish tank, and pack my hospital bag. That sounds a little more practical, don't you think? ;)
Oh, and Jonny was an unresponsive zombie so maybe, Baby, you could be born at an hour when your Daddy is a little more conscious. :)

Contractions!

What the heck! I can't sleep because I've been having contractions since 10pm tonight. I'm scared! I didn't get noticeable contractions with Eli or Noah until it was the real deal. They are hardly painful- like a 1 or 2 on the pain scale, and very close together- like 2,3 & 4 min. apart so that makes me think its NOT the real thing. Ugh! Please, oh please, Baby, wait a little longer! Some friends of mine are throwing me a Mommy Shower on Friday and I'm really looking forward to it. Becky's not here for another 15 days... I don't want to call anyone in the middle of the night... Jonny needs to clean his side of the bed... Eli's last swim lesson is in the morning... I'm tired and I don't feel like giving birth right now... Please, please, please wait a little longer!

Driver's Ed, Nesting, Sunshine & Pregnancy- Oh My!

Well, we have two weekends down on Jonny's crazy Driver's Ed training courses. This last weekend turned out to be pretty fun. The boys and I were originally planning a trip to Klamath Falls, but our plans sorta fell through. (For the third time this year! I guess I'm just not supposed to go down much this year...) Instead, a friend was able to get us a discount at a nice hotel in Portland near Jonny's class. The boys and I did lots and lots of swimming in the hotel pool and Jonny even got out early both nights and was able to join us. I've went swimming once or twice with both pregnancies, but not I was not this far along. Boy, when I got out of the water my belly felt SO heavy!

Even though I'm feeling like there's a 25 lb watermelon in my belly, I feel so energetic lately. On top of my regular cleaning, I've been doing these random nesting things, like... vacuuming in the laundry closet all around the washer and dryer, wiping down the trash can, washing baseboards and window tracks, pulling weeds... stuff that is normally overlooked. The weird thing is that I feel so satisfied after each task. Yeah, yeah I know I'm a little strange. :) I'm even doing some of what I call the 'manly chores' since Jonny is so busy. I've been shoveling doggy droppings and taking out the trash. Noah is my little helper- he loves to help find the dog poop and point it out to me.

Although, perhaps part of my energetic mood has to do with the beautiful weather we've been having. The last couple weeks have been so nice! The boys and I are always going outside- even on days where we've got some April showers we usually find a good time to go out and play. Eli is like a little weather watcher. He would spend his entire day outside if he could. First thing in the morning he wants to go outside, then again after naps, and again after dinner. Needless to say, I'm getting lots of walks in. Noah even road his rocket six blocks before it was my turn to carry it home. :) This weekend I'm even planning to participate- by myself- in the neighborhood garage sale. I only have a few things, but since there will be traffic through the area I might have a good chance at making a little money! There is a 1K in Corvallis on Saturday, too. Maybe I'll be really adventurous and take Eli to his first race...

Oh, and last thing... Jonny took a day off today since he hasn't had a day off in 17 days (me either!). Right now as I type this he's cuddling with Eli on the couch, but he's also been working on building the boys a sand box for the side of our yard. We are all looking forward to it! This morning he got to go to Eli's swim lessons with us, and then we went to my doctor appointment. And guess what!?!! Okay, well, I decided to be a little more modest about posting prego progress than I was with Noah, (I realize some people don't like to hear that kind of thing :) but if you want to know the details, ask and I'll tell!) so lets just say my body is getting ready! Things are progressing just like they did with Noah. However, when she measured my belly, it measured three weeks smaller than it should. I should be close to 37, but it was 34. Two weeks ago it was 35. She didn't think the baby shrunk, but she is requesting that I get an ultrasound to make sure he's growing as he should. She said she didn't think he's going to be a 9lb baby like they've been predicting, which of course I am TOTALLY okay with! Everything is probably fine, we might just have a petite boy on our hands. :)

A few things...

This is our first weekend with Jonny gone for his Driver's Ed training. And go figure- just this week Jonny was pulled over and got a speeding ticket! Talk about ironic1 And expensive!!! Neither of us have ever had speeding tickets before and HOLY COW- I never want us to get one ever again.

Today the boys and I are just hanging out and taking advantage of the nice weather.... which isn't supposed to last much longer. I am now 35 weeks prego, and last night I got this panic feeling like, oh my gosh! Only five more weeks! That's so soon. I'm not ready- there is so much to do. I woke up in the middle of the night remembering that I haven't yet bought this baby a baby book. With Eli and Noah, I brought their books to the hospital with us to get their hand and foot prints in it. I can't believe I almost forgot that for this baby! I went out this morning and picked one up at Freddies. Anyway, I'm thinking of all sorts of things to be done before the baby is born. Some of these things are hard to get done without Jonny here. For example, the baby's clothes and bassinet are up in the attic, and there is no way I'm going to try to maneuver my big body up there by myself! I've also got this freakish nesting urge to make sure the dishes are done before I leave to the hospital. I'm already starting to think about it. The day Eli was born, I went into my doctor's appointment in the morning- knowing I was in early labor- to find out I was six cm! The doctor instructed us to check into the hospital soon. Instead, I went home and did the dishes so my mom wouldn't have to do them for us. I made sure the apartment was picked up and we also made a stop at the bank to make a deposit. Strange- I know! For Noah, the same thing happened. I knew I was in early labor around 10pm when we got home from a frustrating trip to Eugene. What did I do when I got home? I did the dishes so my mom wouldn't have to! I also took a shower, packed Eli's bag and went to sleep for a few hours. The really weird thing is that my mom (and plenty of non-related people) have been to my house when I have dishes in the sink, but for some reason doing the dishes becomes a priority for me when I'm in early labor! :)

Last thing- Jonny found out that he can take courses to teach the non-driving part of Driver's Ed for this summer, which also means he will get paid a little more. The catch- all seven classes are right before or after my due date! It is a really good opportunity, but I don't want to go into labor when Jonny is in Portland. We haven't made a decision about it yet, but we have to soon. I'm running all these scenarios through my mind... what if I don't have the baby during the two weeks Becky will be here? What if Jonny is gone, and I'm in excruciating pain and can't tend to the boys? What if I have to stay in the hospital more than one night... I REALLY don't want to be away from my boys more than one night! What if I have to call my mom in the middle of the night? What if Noah freaks out when he wakes up the morning Jonny and I are gone? Oh, boy... I'm just praying for perfect timing and that the Lord will have everything go smoothly.

Okay, here is a funny video of Noey showing off his tricks! (Try to ignore the tissues shoved up Jonny's nose in the background... he has a cold.) :)

Oh, I lied- this is the last thing. I wanted post a few pictures from a big brother/new baby book we have. For Christmas the boys got these cool books from my sisters, and Eli has learned so much from them. We read one before nap time basically every day. I highly recommend getting a book like this to help a big brother or sister understand what's going on in Mommy's belly. Eli can tell you all about the umbilical cord and the womb, which is full of warm water. He likes to call it the baby's bathtub.

My letter to Baby

Dear Baby,

Although I haven't met you yet, I wanted to write you a letter. I want you to know I already love you and am so excited to be your mommy. I'm REALLY EXCITED to hold you in my arms for the first time and memorize the little face whose been bouncing around in my belly so much.

God has a plan for your little life and I'm praying I will be a good shepperd and help in making you the man God wants you to become. I pray that I can be a good example and teacher for you, and that God will cover my mistakes and weaknesses. I believe God has made you specifically for our family. I think He has made your personality unique and made you as our third son for a reason. It's all a part of His great plan for your life and who you will become. I'm looking forward to getting to know your personality and how you will fit into our family. I can say now, with certainty, that you will be loved. From inside my womb, there are surely times where it may sound like we live at a circus, but you have two really incredible brothers. They are going to love you so much! They will be your best friends and playmates. There is so much fun to be had!

More than anything, our prayer for you is to know and love God. We have been praying for your salvation since we found out you were growing inside of me. As much as your Daddy and I will love you- and trust me, we will SO SO MUCH!- God will love you even greater than we can. He will never fail you. He will never leave or forsake you. We pray that from an early age you will know the truth about sin- of right and wrong and your need for a savior. We pray that you will come to personally know and fall in love with the Savior. Our prayer is that you will have the wisdom and discernment to make the right choices in life and the conviction to repent when you make the wrong ones. We pray that God will give you a soft heart that is yielded to Him. We pray that you will become a strong, mighty man hard after the things of God. We also pray that God will give us the wisdom to lead you by example, raise you and teach you according to His ways.

Here are some thing I want to remember about you or my pregnancy with you:

~You are so wiggly!
~At my 2o week ultrasound, you put on quite a bouncy show for us- using my bladder as your own personal trampoline.
~You got the hiccups about two weeks ago and just like your brothers, you have them almost every night. Unlike your brothers, you wake me up with your hiccups.
~I'm a lot more uncomfortable carrying you in my belly than I was with your brothers. But we can blame that on them... they stretched out all my muscles and I have none left to hold you up! :)
~I weigh less with you, but feel a lot more heavy. Again we can blame that on the muscle thing.
~I hope you're not really big; I'm a little afraid you're going to be 9lbs.
~Your brother, Eli, loves to sing to you and feel you wiggle. He can't wait to hold you.
~Your brother, Noah, blows raspberries on 'you' (my belly) but can also be a little rough on you. That may not change after you're born, but we'll protect you. And I'm sure he'll learn to be gentle. :)
~Be warned- your Daddy gives LOTS and LOTS of kisses. I try to tell him to ease off, but just ask Eli and Noah and they'll tell you Daddy is a big kisser.
~It wasn't my plan to have you, but God knows best so I know my life will be better with you in it!

Love,
Mama

Holy cow! Only 10 more weeks!!!

I'm 30 weeks today! I can't believe it! Now I know 10 weeks can still be quite some time. In college, a term was 12 weeks and that always seemed to drag on forever, but this 10 weeks just feels so soon all of a sudden. I don't feel ready for labor again. I feel like I need to kick it into gear and step it up on my To Do List. I've been asked to share a prego pic... so here is one we took last night.
I am ready to hold my sweet little baby boy, though. When I look at these ADORABLE pics of Eli and Noah I get SO EXCITED so meet my third son!!! I am so, so, so richly blessed. :)

19 weeks

I am 19 weeks today, and I'm very happy to report that I am finally, finally, finally feeling back to normal. The morning sickness, or as I like to say- all day sickness, has been tapering, but its finally gone! I don't think I'll have any trouble keeping my Christmas dinner down, like I did my yummy Thanksgiving dinner. :( My belly is showing just a little bit, but with winter clothing nobody can really tell. Eli loves to look at my growing belly and he says, "Wow! It's so huge!" I keep thinking, if you think this is huge what are you going to be saying 4 1/2 months from now?! I am still more uncomfortable than I was with the first two. It feels like this little babe, which is about 6 1/2 inches long now, likes to stretch out all across my belly... like a lot! I'll be 20 weeks on Christmas day, and I scheduled my big 20 week ultrasound appointment for Christmas Eve Eve. So stay tuned, as I will be posting our news in blue or pink.

illness and silliness

Gosh! I was so hopeful I was going to kick this thing called 'morning sickness' two weeks ago! I'm 15 weeks today, and I'm still feeling queasy. Ugh! With Eli and Noah I got sick at six weeks and felt back to normal by 13 weeks. I guess I expected this pregnancy to be about the same, but this time I got sick at 8 weeks and I'm still sick! It doesn't seem as horrible, but its still bad and I'm so exhausted! Okay, okay enough complaining... it will all be worth it when another precious little newborn is placed on my chest. Oh, I just can't wait for that moment!

Here's some sillies for you...

See that little space between the boys- that's my spot. ;) Jonny wasn't going to be home until after 10 on Monday, so I decided to catch up on some sleep and go to bed at 8:30. I brought my boys in with me... aren't they cute?

This snowman used to make Noah scream and cry, but I think he's sorta getting used to it.

They love to dance!

Lindsey, Russell and Baby Laney came to Corvallis for the week. This picture makes me laugh because Eli is kissing Laney, Russell is fascinated with his foot, and Noah is making is famous cheese face.

Hip, Hip, Hooray for the 2nd Trimester!!!

Some people say 13 weeks is the official welcome into the 2nd trimester, other people say its 14 weeks. Which ever it is- I'm there! I'm 14 weeks today and I think, think, I may be feeling better. Man, that 1st trimester is killer! One of the strangest things for me during this particular 1st 14 weeks was that I craved coffee. I'm not a coffee drinker. I've never made a pot of coffee in my life. But we ended up buying a box of those Starbucks frappaccino coffee drinks from Costco. Now, I understand that may not be real coffee to some people like my mom who can just drink straight black coffee, but to me,- it's coffee. And I love it. It totally settles my sensitive stomach.

One of the reasons I think I might be over the morning sickness stage is that yesterday was one of the first days in a long time that I actually felt like cooking. I actually wanted to cook and didn't feel like I was going to get horribly sick from any smells. I got out my Rachel Ray 30-minute meals cookbook and was so excited to try out some new recipes. (By the way she has a new book out of her best recipes- called "The book of 10"- I really want to get that book.)

Eli is still cracking me up with questions about the baby. He wanted to know how the baby goes poopy in my belly and what happens to it. I told him the baby won't go poopy until he/she is born, and his response was, "Yeah, because the baby wont' get a diaper on until she's born." (He always calls the baby a girl and when we try to tell him we don't actually know yet, he insists it's a girl.) Also he always asks me how the baby is doing and if we can feel her move yet. I say no, but he still likes to put his hands on my belly just in case he feels the first kick. I really should say 'move' instead of 'kick' because Eli got confused by that the other day. He said, "Oh, is she playing with a soccer ball?" When I explained that 'she' wasn't, he thought it was a real injustice that she didn't have toys in there with her. "What does she do all day?" :)

Women's Retreat: Part 7 (Surprise!)

FYI: This is the last of the posts about Women's Retreat.
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Okay, here's the biggie. I think I mentioned a few times that leading up to the Women's Retreat I was extra weepy. Here's the brutal truth- I've been such a cry baby lately.... about everything! My explanation for it was that I was expecting my monthly visitor, whom we refer to as 'Aunt Flo'. (I apologize if that grosses you out!) I was naive' and completely rejecting the idea that it could be anything else, even though when I left for the weekend I was about eight days late. Yep. It's true! Eight days! And I was still seriously expecting a visit from Aunt Flo.

The first night there, over dinner, I was talking with my friend, Sherri, about my situation. (She already knew because I drove down with her and a couple other women. She needed to use the bathroom frequently because she was eight months prego and I accompanied her every time casually explaining that I was expecting to see Aunt Flo.) At dinner she had a sweet little smile and was nicely nodding her head in agreement as I explained that there must be some other reason I am late, because "it's just not possible that I could be pregnant." We were sitting at a table with about six other women, so upon hearing the word 'pregnant' my other friend, JuRita, jumped in and asked what we were talking about. In a hushed tone I briefly told JuRita what was going on. Her response was something like, "EIGHT days!!! Oh my gosh! You're PREGNANT!" Okay, maybe it wasn't that loud, because the whole table didn't hear, but the lady next to her heard and said, "What? Who's pregnant?" :) I smiled, and I'm sure my face was a little flushed, but I simply explained that I was very confident that I was not pregnant. JuRita was ready to get up from dinner right then and there to go out and buy me a pregnancy test. I must say, it was a fun dinner. :)

As I laid down to sleep that night, and as I thought more about it the next morning, the same comments and thoughts of fear were coming to mind. On the one hand- Yes, of course I'd love to have another baby. We want another baby someday anyway. They are a complete joy! But all my fears and insecurities were telling me- No, you don't want to be pregnant. How embarrassing! Everyone is going to tell you that you're crazy. You already have two very young and very busy boys. How are you going to handle another baby? You are too young to have three children. You are so irresponsible. How will you guys be able to afford this? Your house is too small for three young children. They are all so close together, you're not going to be able to enjoy them because you'll be too busy. Noah is going to get lost in the middle. Do you guys even know about birth control? And on and on and on. A lot of those thoughts are comments we've already heard from people before I even had a baby- when I would speak of wanting one. Then, againd after Eli. And again after Noah. It's really discouraging. Jonny and I are not like most people. We met in middle school, dated through high school, married in the middle of college at age 20, had Eli at 22, had Noah at 24 and now another!??? I remember flipping my wedding ring around in class sometimes because I was sick of other students or professors being so shocked that I was married. I hate hearing, "How old are you?" or "You're crazy!" Those two phrases have followed us with each pregnancy as well. Then the enemy gets me believing that it's true. That I'm some kind of freak who needs to get a clue and do things the way everyone else is doing things. (Whatever that looks like!) Even at the retreat, upon meeting someone and her learning that I had two kids, her response was, "Oh my gosh! You don't look old enough to have two kids!" I know this person didn't mean it as an insult, it's just something that I'm sensitive about.

Okay, so... feeling at a low point about this possible pregnancy, I kept going to the bathroom to check things out. Sherri would often be there, too. She'd look over at me and raise her eyebrows as we were washing our hands, and I'd smile and shake my head no.

This story is getting a little too long, so I'll just jump to the good stuff. Over the course of Saturday, the Lord was gently encouraging me and re-aligning my attitude in the right direction. It's like He was letting me know He is in control and He has a plan and it is good and I need to chill out. The verse 'theme' for the weekend was printed out on a book mark for us right when we got there. It reads, (I think in the amplified version...) 'For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the LORD, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Then you will call on Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you. Then you will seek Me, inquire for, and require Me (as a vital necessity) and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.' - Jeremiah 29:11-13 When I looked that verse up in my NLT, the second line jumped out at me. It read, "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." It made me think, okay, if the Lord is giving me a third baby right now, He is going to give me everything I need to make this good. It will NOT be a disaster. My life and my kids' lives will not be a disaster.

I wrote, in another post, how God has a different purpose and plan for each of us. That was really a huge encouragement to me in this area. Jonny and I want a big family. Our plan was for the next one to be born after Noah turned three. Part of the reason for that, at least for me, was that if we spread our kids out a bit, a big family wouldn't seem as crazy to other people. I get this vibe from some people, and I'm really offended by it lately, that big families are too crazy and strange. I think big families are so cool and seem so fun... maybe its not for everyone, but for those who feel called to have big families... I say AWESOME! So the verse on this topic that encouraged me from one of the sessions is this: "The Lord says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.'" -Ps. 32:8 I wrote in my bible, right next to this verse- His best pathway for me is to be a mommy. He will watch over me.

Two other verses we looked at that helped re-align my focus were these:
"For we are GOd's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." -Ephes. 2:10
"...We are all parts of his one body, and each of us has a different work to do..." -Rom. 12:5

At the last session Saturday night, it was like God had prepared my heart to accept the news and He was now telling me it was true. Amanda had us turn to a verse in Psalm 127. I read the verse and kept reading. It was the very next verse that leaped off the page at me. I've read it several times before, but it spoke volumes more to me that day. It says, "Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior's hands. How happy is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates." -Ps. 127:3-5 NLT I felt so happy, so excited, so encouraged at that moment. I wanted to be pregnant! I love that verse. How can I be embarrassed? God's Word is truth and it says that children are not only a gift from Him, but a reward! They are like sharp arrows in a warriors hands! I will not be put to shame! Obviously I'm crazy about the two He's already blessed us with, and now another!?? We are so incredibly BLESSED!

When I got home, I told Jonny all of this and he immediately ran out to the store to buy a pregnancy test. He was so excited! After I took the test, we didn't have to wait the two or three minutes it says to wait. We had a positive pregnancy test in like two or three seconds. It was so cool to be surprised like that. I screamed and laughed and cried. It was great! On Thursday I had my first appointment and got to see my 11 week old wiggly little baby moving all around- looking healthy and beautiful. I got to hear that wonderful sound of a quick, healthy heart beat. I am already so in love, and can't wait to meet our newest addition in May. God is so amazing! If you'd like to rejoice with us, we'd love to hear from you.

First Night Home

It feels so good to be home w/ my boys! Apparently Jonny & I make BIG BOYS that like to be born on Fridays. :) Eli is doing okay adjusting to Noah. He really likes Noah, but also wants to be held whenever he sees me holding Noah. I'm sure it'll just take some time. Noah did really, really good last night. Eli was trouble his first night home, however, I think I sorta knew what to do better this time.

Everything has gone so smoothly. The delivery went so fast; so fast that nobody made it there in time. A nurse took pictures for us. Our stay afterward was really laid back. I remember feeling a little overwhelmed during our stay w/ Eli, but this time was very peaceful.

The same midwife that delivered Eli delivered Noah. I didn't think she was on call, but she was! That was really cool. Also, the same delivery nurse was working. She was really, really nice & helpful. I remember w/ Eli she stayed past her shift to keep coaching me as I pushed, so she could be there for his delivery.

Here are a bunch more pictures:

Can't Sleep

Okay, these contractions are getting more intense- too the point where I can't sleep. Jonny's still sleeping. We didn't go to be until 11pm, so that sucks! Oh, & our smoke alarms went off again, right before bed. Apparently the steam from the shower sets them off. They're really hard to turn off! Anyway, I'm just going to sit on my exercise ball (which is called a birthing ball in the hospital) & time my contractions. My back really hurts. I hope his head isn't the wrong way like Eli's was! Oh, another one.... OUCH!
The other Katie is on call for the 6th. I like her a lot too. Looks like both of my boys will be born on Fridays. I'm a little annoyed how close I got to having him on a cool date like 06.07.08. If it couldn't be that date, why does it have to be so darn close to it!?
I think we'll take Eli over to Rory & Lindsey's in a couple hours. Hopefully I can make it okay to wait to call my mom & sisters until like 5am so they get some sleep!