Giving Gratitude to God

"Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,"  -Ephes. 5:20

The book, One Thousand Gifts has really impacted me and the way I think and react.  I'm trying to be more thankful in all things.  It's amazing how applying this simple little discipline, of always being thankful, can radically change my attitude and behavior.  So here's my end of the month thankful list:

1. little boy laughter
2. reading stories with warm little bodies surrounding me
3. a good nap
4. hot tea on a rainy day
5. an encouraging word
6. a sweet visit with dear friends
7. good conversation with my husband
8. support and love from my husband
9. helpful little hearts
10. repentant little hearts
11. family game night
12. Zekey giggles
13. SIAH!
14. food in our pantry
15. sanctification
16. God's Word penetrating deep
17. chocolate chip cookies
18. worship
19. sleeping in
20. being sharpened by great friends
21. a clean kitchen!
22. pink nail polish- picked out by a son
23. brotherly love
24. my sister's voice
25. sunshine
26. rain too  :)
27. flowers starting to bloom
28. slow-cooker chicken tacos! 
29. a good book
30. FORGIVENESS of my sins

Broken

There was an evening last week where I was especially worn out from my day with the boys.  My  reality of too little time for the goals I had set for myself left me feeling stressed and anxious- which made me exhausted and discouraged.  I told Jonny that the boys' constant need of correction that day not only left me emotionally and mentally worn out, but my body was worn out.  It was like the five and a half years of non-stop caring for children- all four births, all the bending over, arms that are always holding someone, lack of sleep- caught up with me that day.  My body felt... slow... worn out... beat.  I told him that the boys had not only fried my patience but my body felt TIRED. 

Today I was feeling it again.  Then I remembered something.  God always sees my failures and patiently guides me.  He never grows weary.  He looks on me with love, AND His body was broken for me.

"But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.

All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all." 

~Isaiah 53:5-6

So good to remember before Easter.  May I have more of His grace as I do the job He has called me to.  AND maybe, just maybe, I am most useful to Him when I am broken.

Eli!

My first born son is exactly 5 1/2 today!!!  He is such a cool kid.  Jonny and I are always telling him so.  He's just fun to hang out with.  He's my little buddy.  We do so much together- reading chapter books, coloring, basketball, cooking, puzzles, cuddling... even cleaning.  Last night, before pulling his covers up over him, he asked, "Could I stay up and help you clean?  I love to help you, and I love to clean!"  Oh my goodness, what a sweet boy!  He's super duper smart too.  We were working on math problems yesterday, and since his simple addition didn't seem to be a challenge, I taught him about adding two digit numbers and carrying.  (I'm sure there's a technical name for this sort of addition...) Umm, yeah, the smartie-pants got it immediately.  He's going to be way smarter than me some day.  I sure hope he'll still find me interesting.  One things is for sure, this boy has my heart and I will treasure him for all of my days.  

One Thousand Gifts

We had another book club meeting last week.  We read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  What a gifted writer!  Her style is so different.  Modern, maybe?  Its almost like reading someone's journal.  She is very poetic.  I read and re-read sentences because they were so exquisite.

She shares her journey of discovering God's plan for her to live a full life of passion, joy & contentment as she abandons ingratitude- what she asserts is the root of all sin.  She starts a "gratitude journal", a list of simple little things she is thankful for.  Truly thankful.  She begins to discover how to live fully in each moment, being thankful for what is before her.  As she numbers her gratitude- 1 to 1,000- she realizes that if she is thankful for one moment, if she sees God's grace in one moment, what does that mean about the next?  Does God show his grace in the moment our kids smother us with loveys but not in the moment where they're speaking disrespectfully or fighting with each other?  Is there nothing to be thankful for in those moments?  Is God's grace not in those moments?  Along the way of journaling and talking to God, Voskamp discovers that God sprinkles gifts in every moment of every day. She challenges us to start our own thankful list and open our eyes to God's never ending grace & mercies.  To embark on a life that gives true thanks to God for everything.

One of her biggest discoveries was the "joy in the now".
"Daily discipline is the door to full freedom, and the discipline to count to one thousand gave way to the freedom of wonder and I can't imagine not staying awake to God in the moment, the joy in the now."

This part rang so true with me.  I'm always in a hurry.  I'm always planning, list making, thinking ahead... wanting more time.  I loved what she said about feeling that way:
"Time is a relentless river.  It rages on, a respecter of no one.  And this, this is the only way to slow time:  When I fully enter time's swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here.  I can slow the torrent by being all here.  I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment."

I love to plan, but hate to be swallowed up by schedules.  I don't want the business to consume me.  On top of everything else he's doing, Jonny was asked to be the worship leader for a youth group in Aumsville.  We're praying about it.  My April calendar is already full- every weekend.  May is probably about the same- lots of birthday parties.  I have a To Do List to wazoo... All the while dealing with the busiest thing of all- kids who have constant needs.  Deep breath.  One task at a time.  One need at a time.  One visit, one event, one person, one moment at a time AND not to forget the One who gives me my breath for each moment.


"The busyness  of your life leaving little room for the source of your life." -Ann Voskamp

Decisions, Decisions...

A few weeks ago, I went to an info meeting for Classical Conversations- a tutor/curriculum program for homeschooling families.  The curriculum follows a classical approach to education, taught through a biblical worldview.  Today I went to the Albany CC group for their open house and Eli and I sat in on a class.  I have a few concerns about my boys, but overall I really like it and so does Eli.  As we walked out of the classroom, Eli said, "I like Classical Conversations!  Its fun!"  No joke.  It was so cute to watch him in a "classroom" setting.  He did a great job participating and answering questions. 

A bunch of my friends do this program, and one of my closest friends is starting one up at our church for next year.  I REALLY wanted to try it out, in another town, last year, but we got a closed door from the Lord.  I've been saving money for about six months now and have already registered both Eli and Noah for next year in Corvallis.  We'll meet every Monday for 3ish hours, then have the rest of the week to practice and review.

Here's my dilemma.  I was asked to pray about being a tutor, which I think I'd really like AND my payment would cover both boys' tuition.  HOWEVER, for the sake of Noah, I'm not sure if I should.  He really doesn't like to participate in group settings and three hours of paying attention to school stuff might be an unrealistic expectation for him.  I think that is difficult for boys in general.  I was watching 5-7 year old boys struggle to stay on task.  My teaching style would probably be a little different, more tailored for boys... but its still something I need to pray through.  I might just need to sit by his side and be "Mom" and not "Teacher Mom."  Decisions, decisions...

Zeke!

Zeke is 3 months old today!  He is getting more and more chubby by the day!  I sometimes wonder if he hadn't been two weeks early if he'd outweigh Noah, who was our biggest baby.  He still sleeps wonderfully, as he has his entire life.  He's been smiling a lot more and I think I heard a tiny giggle yesterday, but he hasn't replicated it again... so I guess we'll just have to wait a little longer to hear that cute sound.  He's been getting some Daddy time Sunday mornings since I started teaching Eli's class again.  It's only been two times, and the first one was not so great, but today he fell right to sleep in Jonny's arms.  His napping is working out into a more regular routine- about three, sometimes four naps a day.  He's a typical fourth child and sleeps any chance he can wherever he is.  He especially likes the Moby wrap these days, as do I.  I love having him right up against me.  Jonny has been wanting to cut Zeke's hair since last month, but I haven't wanted to.  Yesterday, I sorta caved.  It was thinning out quite a bit, but I thought it was still cute.  He looks like a totally different baby now, still cute, of course; but I kinda miss his hair!  After we cut his hair we noticed that the back right side of his head is somewhat flat.  At Zeke's two month appointment, Dr. Hathaway noticed a flat spot and said it might help to move his swing to a different wall- thinking that he keeps turning his head toward the same direction- where the action is in our home.  We won't go in again until next month, but Jonny's already talking about getting one of those baby helmets to help fix the flat spot.  The helmets aren't huge like bicycle helmets; they're actually pretty cute, and you can decorate them.... but I don't know... I don't want his head to have a funny shape, but I'm not sure I want him to wear a helmet for six months!  If you think of it, you can pray for little Zekers that its nothing wrong, just a harmless flat spot, and that maybe God can have it grow properly.  
Here's our little baby cakes!

Siah!

Josiah Owen Oelkers is the cheerful little 22mo. old living in our house.  He is known as Siah, SiSi, Bean, SiSi Bean, SiSi Owen, Cute Cute, and his brothers call him BooBoo.  This boy brings so much joy to our home and fills his mommy and daddy with delight.  Sure, he is a toddler and starting to touch and get into everything, but he's pretty much cute ALL THE TIME! 

Something cool about the book of Isaiah

I cannot express how much I love our church!  The people.  The teaching.  The different ministries.  The worship.  I've grown and learned so much in our experience here.  

We're working through Isaiah right now, and on Sunday Pastor Rob explained how the book of Isaiah can be likened to a miniature bible.  The book of Isaiah has 66 chapters, like the bible has 66 books.  The book of Isaiah can be broken into two sections, much like the bible is broken into two sections- the Old and New Testaments.  There are 39 books in the Old Testament and 27 books in the New Testament.  Interestingly, the change of sections of the book of Isaiah happens after the first 39 chapters.  The first 39 chapters are dealing with, for the most part, judgement and condemnation of sin, just like the first 39 books of the bible which leave the world condemned.  Then, the last 27 chapters of Isaiah present pardon, deliverance and redemption from captivity in Babylon.  So too, the NT is all about pardon, redemption, and deliverance from captivity.  The second half of Isaiah begins with a voice crying out in the wilderness... sound familiar?  Much like John the Baptist is said to be a voice crying out in the wilderness, as described in the first four gospels in the NT.  Then, Isaiah ends talking about a new heaven and a new earth, just like the very last book of the bible- Revelation.  Rob explained that the second half of the book of Isaiah can be broken into three 9 chapter divisions- the greatness of God, the graciousness of the Son, and the future glorious work of the Kingdom that will be established on earth, with a special emphasis on the work of the Spirit.  Hello!?  NT!!  Lastly, he pointed out that at the heart of those last 27 chapters of Isaiah is Isaiah 53.  (If you haven't read it, READ it!  I know most of us have at least part of it memorized.)  It's the NT!  Father, Son & Holy Spirit.  More specifically, it speaks of the sacrifice of the Son who was wounded for our transgressions.  He was bruised for our iniquities.  The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.

I just think that is SO COOL!  I love learning things like that!

Breathing in God's Word

Generally speaking, I'm handling four boys pretty well.  I've got a schedule/routine posted to our fridge that helps me stay focused and organized.  We have days where we do things differently, like yesterday which was a "clean up & catch up day" which followed our lazy, or maybe I should say restful, Wednesday.  Then there are those crazy chaotic times that throw me for a loop and challenge my patience and multitasking.  

Like this morning, for example; when I turned my warm shower water and heard Zeke crying in his swing.  As I threw my bath robe on and rushed out to the living room, I got a whiff of a rank smell coming from Siah.  Once I made it to the bathroom and began to change Siah's diaper, with Zeke in my lap, I could hear hollering and crying coming from the playroom.  Great, a fight.  Now!?  I'm not even dressed, my hair is dripping wet, I have a baby in my lap, another baby getting his diaper changed, and two yelling at each other?  Ahh!!  BUT by the grace of God, I remembered what I wrote about the other day- how I'm raising up men here.  How some day I might actually miss all four of them needing me at the same time.  God gave me the strength to handle it all patiently.  He gave me the wisdom to speak to Eli and Noah about their behavior, instead of snapping at them.  And you know what?  Everything settled down fine.  I sat down to nurse my sweet Zekers, Siah played at my feet and Eli and Noah carried on wonderfully in the playroom.  Ten minutes of chaos could have ruined my morning if I let the craziness get to me and reacted in the flesh.  Thank You, Lord, for teaching me to be patient and thankful in these situations.  Thank You for seeing me, caring for me and working with my tendency to let a little chaos completely stress me out.

Last Sunday Pastor Rob taught from Isaiah 40- about how HUGE God is:
"Who else has held the oceans in his hand? Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers? Who else knows the weight of the earth or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale? Who is able to advise the Spirit of the LORD? Who knows enough to give him advice or teach him? Has the LORD ever needed anyone’s advice? Does he need instruction about what is good? Did someone teach him what is right or show him the path of justice?  No, for all the nations of the world are but a drop in the bucket. They are nothing more than dust on the scales. He picks up the whole earth as though it were a grain of sand." -Isaiah 40:12-15

And the coolest thing about how huge He is, is how he cares so deeply for us.  He sees even my most trivial of trials:
"Have you never heard or understood?  Don't you know that the LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth?  He never grows faint or weary.  No one can measure the depths of his understanding.  He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak.  Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up.  But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength.  They will fly high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint." -Isaiah 40:28-31

His majesty is far beyond what we could even begin to comprehend, yet He cares so deeply... even though our life is but a vapor, a fading flower! 
"The grass withers, and the flowers fade beneath the breath of the LORD.  And so it is with people.  The grass withers, and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever." -Isaiah 40:7-8

After my morning, I sat down to read where I left of yesterday.  Here is part of what was before me:
"Your unfailing love, O LORD, is as vast as the heavens; your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.  Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the ocean depths.  You care for people and animals alike, O LORD.  How precious is your unfailing love, O God!  All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.  You feed them from the abundance of your own house, letting them drink from your rivers of delight.  For you are the fountain of life, the light by which we see." Psalm 36:5-9 

Then this:
"LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.  Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away.  My life is no longer than the width of my hand.  An entire lifetime is just a moment to you; human existence is but a breath." -Psalm 39: 4-5

Wow.  Life is so short, yet the Almighty God of the universe cares for me.  May the things I dedicate my time on earth to be pleasing to Him.  May the way I handle a chaotic morning with the gifts He blessed me with be glorifying to Him because He has done SO much for me and loves me with a boundless love! 

God brought comfort, love, joy and peace into my heart this morning.  He met me. Reminded me of how big He is and how much He cares about my mundane daily tasks.  And then speaking of mundane, He reminded me of a picture I have in our kitchen.  A friend gave this to me: 

She also has this verse framed in her kitchen.  It reads: 
"Where no oxen are, the trough is clean.  But much increase comes by the strength of an ox."  -Proverbs 14:4 

God is so good!  And His everlasting Word is honey to my soul.

Noah!

Today is the 6th, so I'm gonna share a little about Noah.  He's an interesting one, that's for sure.  I wonder what the Lord has planned for this boy because he probably receives more prayer than any of our other children!  Lately he does this helpless act when we ask him to do things:  doesn't know how to wash his hands, doesn't know how to put his pants on, can't reach his dresser drawers, can't feed himself, or can't stand up because his "legs won't move."  This boy can make my blood boil, but we sure do love him!

The videos I posted is of him playing with his toys- imaginary play, what he loves best.  The picture is of Noah during our school time.  We were working on letters, and something clicked with my thinking- combine his favorite thing with what I'm teaching him!  We brought his animals out and talked about what letter each one started with and the sound it makes.  It was great!  Just got to get into that crazy brain of his!!  :) 

skit

Here's the skit they did at the end of Pure Rebellion.  SO POWERFUL!

Home

I am in a season of staying home... like a lot!  At my shower, my friend, Dana, said she went through this same season when her four boys were little.  It was encouraging to hear her share about the same things I'm feeling.  Things like missing out on the Women's Bible Study (this is the first year I'm not going) or Women's retreats (this is the second year in a row I didn't get to go).  Also, the feeling like I'm missing out on developing new friendships or even keeping up with the existing ones!  Having four little ones is intense work!  At times (lots of times) it can be a constant die-to-yourself kind of job- dealing with never ending messes, snotty noses, whining, fighting, complaining, potty issues, wild behavior, disrespectful attitudes, temper tantrums, etc, etc, etc.  I never thought a simple morning shower would be such coveted "me time".  I'm limited in where I can go with my big, busy brood of blue-eyed boys.  :)  There are times when this can feel so discouraging, but if I'm smart enough to remember that I'm raising up men over here... men that (Lord willing) will be strong in their faith, servants at their church, hard working providers, leading their families in the LORD, men that will serve the LORD with their whole hearts for all of their days... if I can remember that, then it makes my slight inconveniences so well worth it.  

"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." -Gal. 6:9

As I daily pray for the Spirit to produce good fruit in their lives:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; I see that my own life needs so, so, so much work in these areas.  If my boys do, indeed, produce these fruits in their lives it is only by God's grace because I am constantly confronted with my own sin and in need of the Spirit to transform me.  To take my heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. 

"The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.  The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed." - Psalm 34:17-18