Taking a break for a week

Our church is doing a week long corporate fast starting tomorrow. (Yes, Super Bowl Sunday!) Jonny & I still have to finalize what our fast will look like, as far as food consumption, because of his INR level & because I'm still nursing Noah & have low blood sugar. We will definitely be fasting from all T.V., Internet, hanging out with friends- basically any kind of entertainment & unnecessary distractions. The point of fasting is to deny the physical to seek the spiritual. The time we'd normally spend watching T.V. or scrap-booking or eating ice cream :)(that's obviously my personal time) will be used to be praying, reading the bible, worshiping, waiting on the Lord. Our church is cancelling all regular activities & instead, opening up the church prayer chapel for several different blocks of prayer & worship times- morning, noon & night.

This whole thing will be very humbling for me, as I've honestly only ever fasted once, and it was only for a day. I'm embarrassed of this after Rob's message on fasting & how biblical it is. It should be a regular thing in the life of a believer, whether its fasting a day in your month or a lunch in your week. Not that it has to be legalistic; Rob said this corporate fast may look different for each individual or family. He said that there is freedom, & we should be ask God what He would lead us to do. He reminded us that it's not a hunger strike, its fasting & prayer! It could be a juice fast, water fast, it may be only three days or lunch every day. Whatever it is, the point is for us to be praying & waiting on the Lord. There should be a place for humbling ourselves in the sight of the Lord. And laying everything down before Him & surrendering to Him.

When Jesus was fasting He said "I have food that you know not of." That's the food we want to seek. Rob taught that fasting can lead to spiritual revival, guidance, knowing what direction to go, need of healing, or special grace. Look at all the spiritual giants of the bible that fasted (well some of the spiritual giants): Moses, King David, Esther, Hannah, Jesus, the early church, Paul...
Then, there are the spiritual leaders who called for corporate fasting in order to be humbled before God- Ezra & Jehoshaphat- to name a couple.

I especially felt convicted when Rob said we are capable of being hardened to sin & need the Lord to refine us with Holy Fire. Sometimes this is revealed after a time of waiting on Him while fasting. I know my heart regularly needs a good deep cleaning of the Holy Spirit. I could definitely benefit from being purged of the dirty, grimy sin hiding in the dark corners of my heart.

Anyway, all this to say- no posts from me for a week! I won't be checking my email, either. Have a good week! Pray for all the mamas who won't be eating but have to feed their babes!

Our Primary Calling

I am reading a book right now called Sheparding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp & I'm loving it! In his book, Tripp speaks to us parents & gives us a vision to to re-align our parenting goals to what scripture lays out as a straight & wise way to raise children. He gives practical examples of how we can establish relationship & authority with our children as we try to show them by words & example their need for a savior. I'm not done yet, but so far every chapter has been encouraging. I feel refreshed & inspired to take on the challenge, responsibility & honor of shepherding my children in a way that glorifies God. Not that I've had things all wrong, but I've gleaned a few little nuggets & tools that I want to start incorporating in our parenting. Hopefully our earnest efforts (but mostly by the conviction of the Holy Spirit, of course) will enable our children to understand issues of the heart, sin, authority, discipline, forgiveness, mercy, kindness, & love from a biblical perspective.

Why is it that today parenting is not regarded as sacred? It seems like everyone has kids because that's just what you do when you grow up & get married. Are we really aware of how sacred this job is? Are we aware that we are molding & shaping precious little creations with every choice & interaction we have? I often find myself questioning how to handle certain situations appropriately as to not 'screw up' my kids. I don't ever want my parenting to be such a struggle & annoyance that my favorite time of the day is when the kids are asleep. I don't want my focus to be on survival but on the eternal perspective. I want my focus, my aim to be on preparing people for His kingdom.

I love how Ted Tripp laid it out the costs & importance of parenting:

There is a simple way to look at the cost of deep, full-orbed communication. You must regard parenting as one of your most important tasks while you have children at home. This is your calling. You must raise your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. You cannot do so without investing yourself in a life of sensitive communication in which you help them understand life and God's world. There is nothing more important. You have only a brief season of life to invest yourself in this task. You have only one opportunity to do it. You cannot go back and do it over.

You live in a culture in which there are opportunities for you to do things unheard of in history. You are presented daily with scores of options for investing your life's energies and creativity. There is more than you could ever do. You must, therefore, prioritize.

Parenting is your primary calling. Parenting will mean that you can't do all the things that you could otherwise do. It will affect your golf handicap. It may mean your home does not look like a picture from Better Homes and Gardens. It will impact your career and ascent on the corporate ladder. It will alter the kind of friendships you will be available to pursue. It will influence the kind of ministry you are able to pursue. It will modify the amount of time you have for bowling, hunting, television, or how many books you read. It will mean that you can't develop every interest that comes along. The costs are high.

This was so good for me to read right now. Because we've been so busy, I've been telling Jonny that I just don't have enough time. I don't have time for anything but the boys & keeping up the house. After reading this, I'm reminded that it's okay! I may not be reading as many books as I'd like or even making as many friends as I'd like but its not because I'm being lazy. My time is very well spent. There is nothing more important for me to be investing my time in. The costs are high- yes; but so worth it!

I am so thankful that we can afford for me to be at home pouring my life into my kids. I don't ever want to not be discipling my kids. I don't ever want our family to see 'bible teaching' as something only for little kids or only for Sunday school. Until my kids leave our house I want to be praying & reading the Word with them. Because, like Tripp said, this season with them is so short, I want it to be a time of immersing them in the things of God, always. I don't ever want us to put our careers, hobbies, or our own interests above shepherding our children.

I've heard it said that our marriages are our primary ministry & together, as a couple serving the Lord, our primary calling is to raise our children in the fear & admonition of the Lord. That is my daily prayer!

Lord, give me the strength & wisdom to raise these little children for you. I pray, again, that they come to know you at an early age. Give them hearts that can discern right from wrong & truth from lies. Please, God, use me despite my weaknesses & show me my sin before it affects my children. Keep me close to You. Keep me in a short account with You. Shape me into Your image. Keep me from taking this responsibility lightly. Protect our marriage & may it glorify you. Perfect our marriage where it needs correction. By Your Spirit, may we be able to show our children what you have intended for marriage. Please protect these little hearts. According to Your will, reveal Yourself to them & show them their need for The Savior.

Catch up

Okay, this is really, really late, but what can I say- life has been crazy lately. I didn't really say anything about our time in Klamath for Christmas, but hopefully this video shows how much fun we had. We only go down there a couple times a year now that we have kids & there is SO MUCH STUFF to pack. (Plus keeping them happy & occupied is just easier at home.) However, this trip to Klamath was probably one of the best trips we've had in a long time. We had such a good time! So without further ado, here is the video... (better late than never!)



I also wanted to share what Noah has been up to...


I found him on his knees like this after his nap.


Trying to reach some toys...


Oh my gosh, & now he's standing!


And eating saltine crackers! (Little bites only, Noah!)

Speaking of being busy...

I must either be so busy I'm losing my mind, or I'm sleep deprived, or I'm pregnant. Okay, I think we can omit option number three. :) I'm just finding myself doing strange things. I forget to eat breakfast, I found the peanut butter in the fridge, I'm tired & I'm craving caffeine. This is someone who hasn't ever & doesn't ever plan to drink coffee. The funniest thing was probably early this morning when I went in to nurse Noah. He was at the opposite end of his crib & I picked him up upside down. I was so disoriented & sleepy I didn't realize he was upside down until I went to kiss his head & got feet instead. :)

Also, the boys have both been sick for over a month. This cold will start to clear up & then start all over again! Noah has had the same cough since Jonny got out for winter break! However, some exciting news is that Eli has been wearing underwear for a week now! He's averaging about one accident a day (Only pee so far- Thank God!) But I think he's doing really, really great!

Life is just so crazy lately. I'd like to find time to read books, work on my sewing machine, crochet, or scrap book but I just don't have the time. It seems like my 'free time' is used for sleep, house cleaning & laundry- & even that I'm barely keeping up on. AAhhh, someday I know I'll look back & miss these days when we were young, busy & had little ones. And I totally love being with my boys every day of their life, it just makes me a little sleepy. :)

Poor Jonny

Poor Jonny is so busy! He has to work tomorrow (Saturday!) to get caught up. Coaching basketball was just too much to take on. He's so stressed out. He's already had to deal with parents who are upset about their child's lack of playing time & other similar complaints. It's the SEVENTH GRADE B TEAM!! Anyway, as we come to mind, please be praying for us as & especially Jonny as he tries to keep his head above water the rest of the term.

Happy Birthday, Grandma. I hope you had a great day! I love you!

Busy & Showering at Night...

Life has been SO BUSY! I guess its mostly Jonny's schedule that is so busy, but his busyness is making me exhausted. :) He's has three classes to prepare for (next term he gets to teach only one class all day!) & is coaching 7th grade basketball. We don't usually see Jonny until about 6:30 at night, at the earliest. It's later on game nights; like yesterday the boys didn't even get to see Jonny. :( On Monday he broke up with his cardio rehab lady. :) He told her his schedule is just too crazy & he doesn't have time to work out. We had a weekend get-away in Sun River planed with some friends for the end of the month, but we had to cancel that, too. :( I'm so sad about that one! :(

In other news, I had my last shower with Eli today. Okay, that sounds strange, but let me explain. Since Eli was tiny I've had him in the bathroom with me for my morning shower. First, it was in his baby bouncer, then his exersaucer right outside the doorway, then his high chair with some cheerios, then I started bringing him in with me. Now, we go in during Noah's morning nap. But Eli will be 2 1/2 in March & we decided its time to call it quits. I find it sad because my baby boy is getting older & although naked doesn't have the same meaning to Eli as it does to adults its the beginning of a loss of his baby innocence & that makes me sad. Plus, I'm going to miss spending that time with my boy. I guess I still have little Noey! Now I have to shower at night.... but I guess I don't have to shuffle around Eli sitting on the tub floor playing with his cups! I told Eli, "Eli, this is your last shower with Mama." He responded with a serious face trying to understand, "Oooh". I explained, "You can't take showers with me anymore." He said, "Oh. I make a bad choice?" I smiled, "No, Eli. You didn't make a bad choice. You're just getting too big." He sat back down, "Oh, okay." He obviously wasn't as broken up about it.

And last thing, Happy Birthday to my sister, Michelle! Oh my gosh, you're 30!!! :)

Last thoughts- I promise!

Okay, this will be my last post about the funeral! I couldn't fall asleep last night; I kept thinking about how awesome it was to go to Jim's funeral. It was so refreshing to see a life that served God until his last breath: Pastoring churches & hosting home fellowships in his home, reaching out to his family & opening up his home as a place of refuge. It was said of Jim that he meditated on & memorized God's word. God's Word was hidden in his heart. As the head of his home, he taught his family the true meaning of Christmas every Christmas Eve. They'd invite the whole family over for cup cakes & singing Happy Birthday to Jesus. (I knew before I was even married I wanted to copy that tradition!) Then, each year a new grandchild gets to read the Christmas story. It is just so family oriented & focused on the Lord. A true example of Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Even Judy's Christmas tree is completely decorated in picture frame ornaments of every child, grandchild & great-grandchild. They love God & their family.

The slide show at Jim's funeral showed picture after picture of Jim with friends, of Jim with his children, of Jim with his grandchildren, of Jim with his great-grandchildren, & so many of Jim with his wife- of course always holding her hand or with an arm around her. He was so blessed. The Lord promised him long ago that he would have a full quiver, & boy was his quiver full! Jim & Judy have so many grandchildren & great- grandchildren that stem from their six children. I've heard it quoted that a rich man says children will make you poor, but the poor man says children make you rich. It's so true that children are our greatest treasure. It isn't possible to take our earthly treasures into heaven with us, but it is possible to be with our children there. And that was Jim's prayer. It was said, at his funeral, that he prayed every night for his six children & their families. How precious!

As I was thinking about Jim's godly character; I was thinking how blessed his family was to have him as their dad, uncle, grandpa, father-in-law etc. Although I don't know what that is like to have those relationships, God has blessed me with a godly husband & two beautiful boys. I pray every day that my boys will come to know the Lord. I am so thankful for these male relationships in my life. I know that we are all still sinners & I know it is only by the help & guidance of the Spirit to have an affect on lives like Jim did. Jim was not perfect, but Christ who lived in him was perfect.

Fresh Start

Oh my goodness, the last 13 days of the new year have been a whirlwind! We drove home from Klamath on the first, unpacked & got settled in, as our life shifted back into go- go- go mode, with Jonny preparing for three different classes (one that he's never done before), coaching basketball & continuing his workouts at Cardio Rehab. I guess that sounds like Jonny is the only busy one, but believe me, I am just as tired as he is when my head hits the pillow at night! Then, on the 8th I received the news about Telena's grandpa. Then my friend, Julia & her baby Jacey came up to visit for a few days. Then I left for the funeral.... ahh I'm finally home & there's so many things I want to write about, so I guess I'll just start rambling.

I normally love this time of year. I love the feeling of starting clean- of new beginnings. I love sorting through our new things & making resolutions & trying to make this year better than the last. Although, with this year starting off so hectic, I've only found time to jot a few resolutions down on the back of a piece of mail. Basically, its the same old stuff you'd expect to see.

Okay, so onto the most exciting news!!! Today, my sister, Amy, found out that baby #4 is a GIRL! Yay! For some reason, she's the only one in the Marshall clan to be able to produce a female, thus far. Eric & Lacey have two boys- Rian & Ethan; Michelle & Jerry have Joshua; Becky is still waiting for Mr. Right :) & Amy will now have one boy & three girls- Ruby, Reid, Lily & CLAIRE MICHELLE! I'm so excited to meet her! And the funniest part of it all is that Amy's has the same due date I did with Noah, June 7th! This will be the 7th Marshall cousin with a birthday in the time span of early May to mid June! Yikes!

The next thing I wanted say was that I went to Jim Rockholt's funeral today. I've only ever been to one other funeral. I was in 8th grade, & it was my grandpa's funeral. My grandpa didn't know the Lord & I wasn't really close to him, so it wasn't a extremely meaningful to me. It was actually really sad because he wasn't saved... but that's for another time. Jim's funeral, although sad, had me smiling. Oh my gosh, I'm so glad I went to that funeral! I was praising God the whole drive home today. I knew that man loved Jesus & his wife & family, but to see pictures from his life & testimonial after testimonial of Jim's life & character- it was incredible. This man loved the Lord & lived for him. The whole service was centered on God because Jim's life was centered on God. Now, he gets to spend eternity with his Father! How awesome is that!?

Ever since I received the news of Jim's passing, I couldn't stop thinking about it. First of all, its just so mind boggling to think that we are still here struggling & stressing with the smallest to the biggest of trials while Jim is with Jesus. He is with Jesus! Our savior! That is so crazy! What are they doing? What is it like? I guess we can answer those questions based on what we know from reading scripture, but we will never really know how glorious it is until we are there. And more & more I'm excitingly anticipating how wonderful it will be when I meet my maker in heaven. When there are no more tears or sorrow or grief. Where there is no more pain or suffering. Where there is no evil. I wonder how great it will be to fall on our faces before our Lord & worship Him. I wonder...

So Jim passed away on Thursday & that's when I started thinking about death & being in heaven forever. Then, on Sunday, Rob, instead of teaching from Psalms (where we are in our verse-by-verse journey through the Word) taught from Revelation 4. It fit so perfectly with what's been going on in my mind. The chapter is known as the throne chapter. John writes of what he sees around the throne. It gives us a glimpse of how splendid & peaceful it is. He speaks of the worship & adoration of Christ. As Rob took us through the chapter, he spoke about our earthly bodies passing away & how we get to say goodbye to this awful world.

Satan is called the god of this world. This world is full of agony & full of suffering. But God, has an intended end for us. He has a plan for those who love him & are called according to His purposes. (Rom. 8:28) The plan, the 'good' that Paul is speaking of is not always what we see as wonderful & great. God doesn't promise to keep us from harm, but to see us through harm. What Satan meant for evil, God uses for good. (Gen. 50:30) The shaping of our character is good. Our response to God in times of trouble is good. God never lets us suffer needlessly, but cares for us & tenderly molds us into His beautiful image. I love that! I love that we get to go to heaven where Jesus reins. We get to spend eternity where our true citizenship is. We get to spend ages learning all the details of God's majestic character.

"For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known." -1 Corinthians 13:12

Lastly, I have to put up a cute video of the boys. I should probably explain it, though, because I don't want it to appear that I'm okay with Eli playing rough with his baby bother. So here is my disclaimer: Yes, they do play & yes, Noah does put up with some roughness. He's going to be a tough boy! However, this video was after they had been playing for fifteen minutes. It was escalating & Eli was getting too rough, so we made them stop. Eli is usually fairly gentle with Noah (as gentle as a 2 year old can be). It was so funny to watch them laugh & laugh at each other. :)

P.S. I think I'm going to make all my posts white from now on.... something new :) Okay, lets start over & get a fresh start on the new year...

Jim Rockholt Nov. 21,1930 - Jan. 8, 2009

I was eleven when my family moved to Klamath Falls, OR. Two of my first friends were Telena & Rachelle Nelson. They were cousins- double cousins. Their moms were twin sisters who married the Nelson brothers. I was intrigued by their family. We instantly clicked & became the best of friends. They, like many of the people of Klamath Falls, were born & raised there. They both continue to live there today, as they raise their own children. Their entire family on both sides live there. Aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, grandparents, great-grandparents- they all live in Klamath Falls. This was so different than my family. I only had my mom, Becky & my grandma (Grandma didn't move to Klamath until I was in high school). I didn't know what it was like to have cousins or aunts & uncles. I didn't even know what it was like to have a dad... & three of my siblings lived far away. Because my family dynamic was so different I loved hanging out with Telena & Rachelle's family. There were always lots of people around.

I particularly liked their grandparents, Jim & Judy. They were the example of what I want my marriage to be when I'm a grandma. They were both in love with the Lord & in love with each other. You know how every once in awhile, you walk into the grocery store & see an old man carrying a bouquet of roses out to his car- that was Jim Rockholt. Don't you just love seeing that?! Why is it that people lose that passion & love for each other after so many years of being married? I pray that doesn't become my marriage. It certainly wasn't Jim & Judy. He loved his wife. He valued & honored her. She was his queen. They were best friends & spent every day together. They didn't even go to the grocery store without the other one. They were always going on road trips & little get-away vacations together. It was just a delight to see Jim & Judy's love for each other.

Jim was actually Judy's second husband. She lost her first husband about 35-40 years ago in a tragic car accident. She & Jim have been married for the last 20 years. My heart just breaks for her. I try not to let myself think of losing Jonny. I can't imagine what that must feel like, to spend every day for 20+ years with the same person, your best friend. To be so in love with this man & then gone... just gone. Wow. I know Judy is just crying out to the Lord for strength. If you think of it, join me in praying for her as she grieves the loss of a husband.... for the second time...

Jim was such a sweet, kind man. Our culture says that a lot of men become bitter, cranky & grumpy as they age. Not Jim! He was not at all unpleasant to be around. In fact, I enjoyed his company very much. I loved talking with him. Because I didn't grow up with a dad or grandpa, sometimes I feel awkward relating to men & talking with them. It's foreign to me. But not with Jim. He had Christ's love & kindness.

Jim also loved children. He used to work as a teacher & Principal. He was also blessed with lots & lots of grandchildren & great-grandchildren to lavish his love on. In fact, after Jonny & I had Eli we went down to visit friends/family in Klamath Falls for Christmas. Telena was living with Jim & Judy at the time. They were so excited to meet our new baby. Judy said, "Come sit with Grandma Judy." They even got out their camera to take pictures. That's the kind of people they are- kind, welcoming, & loving. They treated me like family.

Jim was also very humble & forgiving. He opened up his home when Telena & her two kids needed a place to live, not just for a week or month, but for two years! They graciously gave up their master bedroom & bathroom & took a smaller room at the end of the hallway. They didn't mind their life being interrupted with all the toys & noise that little ones bring. They welcomed & embraced Telena & her kids. Jim was also forgiving of people who had betrayed or hurt his family. He provided odd jobs around the house as a way for Telena's ex husband to earn a little extra money. Jim also made a little room up for him in the side room of their garage. He extended grace & mercy where a lessor person would have been cold & unforgiving.

I'm so glad I got to see Jim one last time nine days ago when we were in Klamath. I'm so blessed to have known a man of God like Jim. His life has ministered to me. I know he is so happy to be home with his Father. My prayer is that God would use Jim's passing to draw their family to Himself. I pray that Jim's love for Jesus would penetrate the hearts of all the unsaved who knew him & that they would turn to Christ & find eternal life in Him.

Go, Noah, Go!

Grandma Oelkers found this Johnny Jump Up at a garage sale! It's so funny to watch him bounce in it! I was a little nervous about him just hanging in the door way, but it seems to work just fine.

That's right! He finally did it! Noah's been rolling, wiggling & shimmy-ing his way around the living room for about a month or so. Then, just in the last week he started doing a slither-like crawl, or army crawl thing. Then, four days ago, I saw him take two little crawl motions, using his knees. Yesterday, he turned SEVEN MONTHS & put it together. :) Yay, Noah! (Following right in Eli's footsteps. Eli started crawling at 7 mos 4 days.)

Eli quotes

These three quotes are all Eli speaking to Noah:

"Hey, Cutie Pie. Hi! Hi, Cutie Pie."
"Hey, Babes."
And during the start of a melt down Eli was having, Noah started to cry. Irritated, Eli said to Noah, "Hey! No! No, Noah! I cryin'." Noah stopped crying. :)

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year from Klamath Falls! We've spent the last week in Klamath visiting our family & we're headed home today. That is, if we can fit all our stuff in the car! We always seem to drive home with WAY more than we drove down with. We are so blessed by our family. :)

We've had a busy week visiting with Jonny's parents, my parents & my grandparents. Eli & Noah were completely loved & adored. It's fun for me to see family love on my boys so much because it reminds me & sorta lets me see how cute & precious they are in another light. I get used to Noah's cute faces & noises & Eli's growing vocabulary & the way he swings his arms back & forth as he runs around. It was good for me to step back & see how wonderful they are from a perspective that doesn't see them every day.
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Okay, so I saved this & never got back to it. We're home now. We didn't get out of Klamath until about 1pm. It took awhile to pack everything, then we ate lunch & right before we said our 'goodbyes' Eli had a collision with my mom's wooden bench. He was running & tripped & did a face plant right on the side of the bench. I heard a loud SMACK.... silence & then the crying came. His forehead has a big red square imprinted on it, along with a fat lip. I'm sure the first of many more... :)

Anyway, that's all for now. I just wanted to say hello since I haven't posted in awhile. I hope everyone enjoyed their CHRISTmas. We sure did. God is good!