Understanding God

Poor Eli. He's having a hard time understanding why God does or allows certain things. He's asking pretty big questions that a lot of adults struggle with. He's a pretty wise little three year old. :)

The first question he had was about friends of ours who lost their baby. The baby was born early- a still born. We're pretty open and real about things with Eli, so when we heard of this news we shared it with Eli as well. Eli asked why God wasn't watching this family. He knows, from his bible stories, that God is big on protecting His people; so the thought of something bad happening to God's people was hard for him to grasp. We basically had to talk to him about Rom. 8:28. We had to explain that we don't always understand why God allows us to go through certain things, but we have to trust Him because He is a good, wise God and He knows better than us. We told him that this isn't heaven- that here on earth there is sin and that is why there is bad and evil in the world. God sometimes allows us to go through hard things for our good and His glory. I told Eli that God also uses evil things for good- remember Joseph? We talked about why God may have allowed him to fall and scratch his face on the sidewalk. The talks all went pretty good...

Then he asked more questions... He knows that God is capable of healing. And he knows that we can ask God to heal us. So when he prayed that God would heal is scab and then opened his eyes to find it was still there, he didn't understand. "But I prayed! He didn't heal me!" This happened over and over. Pray, open eyes, no healing. Pray, open eyes, no healing. Pray, open eyes, no healing. :) "Why won't He heal me like the blind beggar?" Again, we explained that we don't always know why God chooses the things he does, be we have to trust Him because He's God and He knows best.

Now- no baby sister. Eli was almost in tears today. "I want a baby sister! I don't want two brothers. I only want ONE brother! Now God will never give me a baby sister!" Oh, boy. Again, I explained that same hard concept- Sometimes we don't understand why God does the things he does, but we have to trust that He knows better than we do, and He does things for our good, even when they seem hard. I told him that he gets to have TWO brothers to play soccer with, to go fishing with, to go camping with, to ride bikes with, to be his best friends forever. And I told him that some boys don't get any brothers, and that he is so blessed that God is giving him not one, but TWO! I also said, "God knows how much you want a baby sister, and He might decide to give you one later. Sometimes God wants to teach us to wait."

Man, I am sure learning and growing a lot in this mommy- hood journey. I remember a friend of mine, who has a whole house full of kids, telling me that "its not about me!" She explained that her take on having kids and the journey of raising them is sanctifying. It draws us closer to the Lord and makes us oh so much more dependent on Him. He uses our children to teach and humble us. I am so remembering those words today. I really do want a girl some day. I really want Eli to get his baby sister. But I am so happy and content with where God has us. I want to trust Him because He knows best. A house full of boys will sanctify me- I'm sure. It should have me down on my knees before Him every morning... and maybe that's where God wants me to be. :) I don't want anyone to feel sorry for us like its a bummer that we are having ANOTHER BOY! It's a blessing, especially when I think of barren women who so desperately want to have a child. I LOVE my boys. They are lots of energy and loud and always on the move- yes. But they are absolute sweet hearts. Little boys love their mama's and its so, so wonderful. Eli loves to cuddle with me. He's constantly telling me I'm pretty and how much he loves me and how great I am. I wouldn't trade that for the world. So, sure- I'll take another boy! :)